Drunken Socks

Please insert drama.

I clearly have none.  I did make out with a girl tonight.  I did have dinner with the Dad.  Dad did give me a lamp that I grew up with and Dad falsely claimed that it came from the dead Grandmother's estate.  Yay.  I have more shit from the two parents that I really don't need or have the space for and sends me into a mini-spell of depression that both my parents are close to death.  One from crazy and the other from diabetes. 

It's on bitches.  I now own a bowling ball lovingly crafted by a really old man that owns the Pro Shop at Dart Bowl.  The guy knew his shit something fierce.  He touched my fingers to determine flexibility and how to drill my holes (dirty).  He measured gape.  He got out some steel things too to measure my reach.  It was hot.  The ball and service was $200.  He was a champ.  That and he is really old and smokes Camel regulars.  His mouth had nasty bridge work and his teeth were yellow as fuck from smoking for 400 years and he still slicks his hair back like a real bowler should.  The best part is that he's a left-handed bowler and offered to show me how to properly bowl today around 3 p.m.  I heard he yells a lot at noobs.  I can't wait. I think he likes me in that I have money to throw around in his pro shop.  He probably like this phrase from my lips, "Money is no object.  Give me a good ball."

In an instant after a wholly stupid, brief and agonizingly pointless staff meeting where we were briefed all of the details of the bar's anniversary party that we already knew about, a few of us decided to go bowling.  I broke my high score of 73 and became forever intoxicated with the game.  I'm hooked.  Monday is $1/game day.  We bowled at least nine games.  I've found my new hobby.  Mikee, Sluggo and I all bought new balls and also accidentally ran into Andrew, a bar regular we like who now bowls.  Me thinks we might have a league team?

After I got the new ball I bowled a whopping 122!!!  Hot shit.  Just pure fun.  Do I dedicate my life to rolling? 

My grammar is deteriorating.

Oh yeah.  I voted today.  What did you do?
I'm tired now. 

You go, asshole!

I just don't know what to say about this.  McCain's base at its finest?:

Holy. Shit.

I'm betrunken.  Drunk, that is.  AND, YES, i CALLED IT! OBAMA!  150 MILLION FUCKING GLORIOUS DOLLARS IN SEPTEMBER!  I FUCKING RUUUUUUUUUUUUUULE!!!      I'm quite proud of myself by predicting a rediculous number of $166MM but I did it!!! Typepad sucks.  It locks up shit like Bold and Underline while posting.  What a bunch of crap.      Oh, why not.  If it won't let go, I'll deal.  I hate Jesus.  I hate you.  Obama roolz.  I roolz.  This thing just won't quit.  I've hit buttons to try and stop this but, Christ, TYPEPAD SUCKS.  I might just kill my blog right now.  The normal text below is what I posted before I amended this post.   Wow.  Still just won't let me un-underline things.  Nope just tried again to undo underline.  Fuck Typepad.  I hate typepad.  Are ya'll enjoying this?  I'm not.  Do I seem too earnest?  Let's go bigger!!!!  SO OBAMA IS DOING ALRIGHT.  SHOULD I GIVE HIM MORE MONEY.  GOD, I HATE TYPEPAD.  HOW HARD IS IT REALLY TO MAKE A *************BASIC************ONLINE WORDPROCESSOR WORK?  fUCKING HELL.

Perfect sports day trifecta:

1.  Arsenal won.  Glorious Jesus stain in my pants.

2.  The #1 Longhorns shitcanned Missouri.  Glorious.

3.  The beloved Red Sox force game 7 of the ALCS.  Glorious.

4.  This:  (look down)

Barack.  Fucking.  Obama.  St. Louis.

It gets better.

Can you tell I'm building to a crescendo?  Yeah, the Red Sox are essentially doomed.  It weighs on the the heart.

But Obama: (ooops!  Must attribute: Boom Mother fucker!)

It just keeps getting better.  I think he has topped out.  Maybe.  He's just destroying.

I'm drunk and I have now fixed and modded my xbox and got Call of Duty 4.  Yeah.  I've finished my History degree.  I can do this now.  That and I own a house.  Ladies?

I think this chart is more representative than the above.  The chart shows the results of 10,000 scenario simulations based on polling results.  I'm not sure how the calculation for each simulation is done - Nate Silver knows and I guess it's good statistical method - but the results are insane. 

You must note that the red part of the graph indicates a McCain victory and the Blue, Obama.  The Y axis is number of simulations out of the 10K and the X is the result of each simulation summed.  You're not stupid so look:

 

That is a blowout.  Also these results trend conservative.  He includes shit like poll biases (house effect) and other scientific norms known *to date*.  Might miss polling of cell only voters like me who are not allowed to be called by law.  Another thing;  most of these polls base their models on past turnout and generally undercount youth voting which should be huge this cycle.  This is why I'm watching closely. 

But blowout?  I think so. 

Fucking Hell. Obama!

Dude.  He's advertising in video games!

Are you fucking shitting me?  Pwn3d.

Unicomp.

I just want to say that Joo had the distinct pleasure of flapping away on my fine fine keyboard.  I sensed that she was pleased with its fine fine tactile interface.  What a fine piece of periphery.  I love it so too.  I think Erlin liked it too.  I feel that I am just to in love with the small things that make life worth living.  God I love this keyboard.  It is fine.  It is beige?  Tan?  Click Click.  UNICOMP!  Fine!

Oh yeah.  Obama in a landslide.

Obama's September fundraising numbers should be HUGE.

I sure as shit gave him $100 twice last month.  The report should be out tomorrow I guess?  He bought a 30 minute block of prime-time air time with CBS and is negotiating with the other 3 majors.  30 minutes.  Four networks.  Advertising during the Olympics cost him $5MM.  120 total minutes will probably be around $40 - 60MM.  That would mean that his fundraising went bonkers and is continuing.   

That's a startling amount of cash.  I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that Obama raised $166MM last month.  Maybe more?  Then there's this month's numbers which are probably huge too.  I guess people are scared to death.

The point is that I'm astounded about how perfect this campaign has been run since day one.  Hell, we haven't even seen the ground game yet (GOTV).  Rumors are that Obama has 100K volunteers in Florida alone and some districts have already canvassed 100% of their homes.  That's nuts. 

I'm taking predictions for what the number will be.

Today's (Sunday) 538.com pie charts!  Freaking awesome.

Nature sucks.

Everyone that knows me knows that I hate nature.  Really hate nature.  And the Sun.  I really hate the sun.  I glow white.

Well, today, my hatred is reinforced.  I go outside to rake up a few limbs into the dead limb pile and look down to see what's scratching my bare feet.  About 5,000 fire ants.

Fuck nature.

Bleech.

A boring Thursday at work.  I'm putting this on all the people leaving town to go to the U.T. v BlowU game in Dallas.  Enjoy your stinking funnel cakes you funds-depriving assholes.  I'm just jealous because I'm not stupid enough to endure Fair Park's unpleasantness.  Parking on a poor person's lawn for $40 and enduring non-working pissers after that-that-drive to Dallas isn't enticing enough.  I'd rather watch in my boxer shorts.  That and my desire to follow U.T. footie has diminished somewhat after V.Y. left town.  Ask Joo.  I like V.Y. a lot. 

But whatever.  I'm drinking a customer's homebrew light beer and it really doesn't suck.  You would be sage to notice that this post is time-stamped around 7:15 a.m.

An image!  :

God I hate those people ^^^^^^^.

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